i want her to know. to always know how beautiful she is. i want her to believe it when someone tells her. i want her to feel beautiful even when no one says it. this sweet girl is darling, amazing, interesting, determined, bold, confident… you should see her walk into a room with her cowgirl boots on and her hand on her hip.
i just wanted to share a few things that i have learned in being a momma to this almost-4-year-old girl that has captured my heart, my attention, my time and my energy. that deserves those and so much more.
#1: set the example.
okay mama’s, this first one is the toughest… i promise, the rest are MUCH easier compared to this. but, let’s dive in right here.
think for a second… when someone tells you how pretty your eyes are. how lovely your outfit is. how great your hair is. how beautiful you are.
our first reactions can be: shy, avoidance, a mumble. maybe TOTAL disagreement with the the person complimenting you.
what if we all proudly help up our head a little taller and said, “Thank you!” and offered true thanksgiving and acknowledgment.
what if our daughters saw that and took notice. oh yes, whether we think they take notice or not, they do. we are their role models. they watch us. they tuck in those interactions. then they model our behavior.
#2: TELL HER. just tell her, “you’re so beautiful.”
i love saying to sweet Abigail, “you are SOO beautiful. who made you beautiful?” and she boasts proudly, “GOD DID!” i want her to know that truth. that God designed her. there are no mistakes. He knows her. He knows her outer and inner beauty. He holds that. He owns that. giving Him all the praise for the beauty that she is.
saying it too much DOES NOT reduce it’s meaning. she just gets to hear you say it more. tell her she’s good enough. tell her she’s worth it. tell her how beautiful she is. tell her how lovely her smile is.
focus on the details. her beautiful brown eyes. her darling smile. the little beauty mark. her long fingers and ticklish toes.
#3: teach her manners.
teach her by using your manners. teach her by explaining why. teach her by encouraging. by giving her the confidence to say “thank you” when a door is held open for her, or “please” when asking for something, or “excuse me” before interrupting a conversation will empower her to be bold in her words, strong in her sense and solid in direction.
i pay attention to children speaking because mine so often get overlooked. when children are dismissed by adults they are taught they are not worthy of attention and will act out or remove themselves. teach them manners & encourage conversation with adults so they can begin to change the adults around us! 🙂
#4: spend quality time with her.
we sit together. often. sometimes just painting our fingers & toes. water coloring at the picnic table. talking before nap time. in the car. i love engaging her — she has so much to share, so much she sees, so full of energy and life.
we will never regain time.
i hope she will reminisce someday about the long talks we had. the hours of creating together. the moments we share making dinner side-by-side. smelling fruit and the local market while chatting with other shoppers.
we inevitably feel loved and important to those that spend time with us. i want her to know that i spend time with her because i love her. she’s important. she’s valuable. she’s beautiful to me.
#5: “you are beautiful with or without the extras”
my sweet girl has become a girly-girl overnight. adorning rings, large chunky necklaces from my collection. handbags. headbands. glitter tie knots. oh yes, and my blush brush. as she gently brushes the excess bronzer high on her cheek bones.
with or without her big sparkly dresses. with or without her hair being coiffed. with or without her chunky accessories; she is beautiful. SHE is. not the things that she hangs from her neck or wrists. but that sweet girl underneath the dress-up.
we remove the dress up clothes. wipe off the make-up. put away our dress up things. then relish in the natural beauty that is still there.