it is 2015 and i am taking on for the first time, a word of the year.
i could only think of 1 word.
which.. if you know me well, know this is typically VERY difficult for me! 🙂
i am busy.
i love staying busy and being productive.
i love crossing off items on my long & heavy to-do list. >> feelings of immediate accomplishment.
… and i typically manage to get through everything that i require from myself that day.
i wake up ready to go and can stay up late. i am ridiculously productive and highly capable… & i rarely get “tired” of being busy day in and day out. i am unique. i know.
(a small note to explain but not with the intention to boast: through a series of counseling sessions with different counselors that have helped me work through many, many things in the past few years, i am accepting that my expectations of myself and my abilities are not considered “typical” but that i’m rather unique in my abilities to focus, tirelessly commit and often find success in what i do…)
but… these past 2 years of major transition & adjustment & consumed days & fires that somehow constitute an emergency on my part, i am tired…
i am tired. very tired. i get frustrated and overwhelmed and can often be an emotional wreck with difficulty focusing or weighing the importance of my to-do list.
it has become quite apparent to me that it is time for rest.
i have tried to avoid it. i have laughed in the face of sleepiness and pure mental, physical and emotional exhaustion and taken on more & more & more…
… but i can’t. it is time for rest.
memory versus from over the years whirl in my mind… clients offer an incredible amount of patience… family & friends encourage it… the grace and support i have received has been monumental and has led to the simple fact:
God has called me to rest.
so… i will rest.
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.”
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.