to rest my feet while digging into a new website design.

the right lighting to jot ideas in my “big idea journal” for safe keeping. watercolors abound.

a minimalist approach to living.

the more you have. the more that owns you.

each item in my home is intentional. intentionally placed in its spot. right where it should be.

why did it take so long to find my favorite living room color scheme? it speaks to me.

coral & teal & navy blue provide a soothing palette of inspiration amidst the mostly cream colored home that i rent.

architectural teal candle holder / coral vase from TJMaxx / “a” mug from Anthro

handmade pillows / lamp from Lamps Plus

this is perhaps the place i spend the most time. nestled on the couch with children reading books. with my reliable laptop working feverishly. with Pandora pouring out melodies as the clock passes through past midnight.

yes, i’m definitely bragging about the steal i found on this lamp. truly. amazing. truly. i can actually SEE what i’m doing without a glaring overhead lamp made from flourescent nonsense.

i’m thinking a simple DIY of the lampshade using some textured fabric. or maybe i’ll just leave it plain. or maybe wrap it in a map.

jotting ideas down in my “big idea journal” next!

stunning. right? i love the colors in this room and will continue to add flourishes of lovely color and elegant, comfortable beach-style until we move again!

a small collection of clear bottles filled with desk accessories. my vintage letter “a” wooden stamp, thumbtacks, a simple & beautiful orchid that i have successfully kept through this second blooming (this is a rarity) + my other new lamp. seriously. why did i take so long to choose new lamps?

DIY art gallery / table lamp from Lamps Plus / laptop by Dell; yes, i’m a PC.

the best thing about boxes arriving from online shopping? this face full of batman-finesse.

i would.

yes, i can honestly say that the more i have, the more i give. i know this because the more i am asked, the more i give, the EASIER it is to give. my giving has been tested. my heart-strings attached to money and things of this world hav been cut.

money is of no use if it does not bring good.

i was not always this way.

my parents told me “poor stories”… can you relate? when they were really, really young and having babies… they had $1 left and my mom wanted frozen orange juice that costs .25 and it was a struggle to make that decision. they wanted more for us children. they wanted us to do more. to give more. by example, when we had so little, my parents gave. over & over. pleading for God to provide daily for our family of 6. relying daily. and He provided. a great story of faith BUT not one that i wanted to live.

long ago i decided i would never be poor. i did not want to own any “poor stories”.

so i saved. i went without. i said “NO!” a lot. i disregarded my desires and my wants to have more money saved… i wanted to have a cushion so when hard times come, and they come… that i did not experience them as harshly.

luke 12: 13-21

13 Someone in the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the family inheritance with me.”14 But He said to him, “Man, who appointed Me a judge or arbitrator over you?”15 Then He said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”16 And He told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man was very productive.17 “And he began reasoning to himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?’18 “Then he said, ‘This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 ‘And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry.”’ 20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?’ 21 “So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”

what was i really doing? storing up for what?

i have learned out of obedience to tithe & give…  my heart has softened. my soul was a caged bird looking to spread its wings. to love on others. to give. selflessly with joy and thanksgiving.

to give.

much is required of those with much. much is given to those that give. this may not be just finances… we are called to give.

to be the hands & feet & provide for those that need us. to love like Jesus loves. to seek His face. to give with joy.

are you willing? are you able? can you forgo something to give to someone in need?

my friend Andrea from the Train to Crazy & Go To Patterns is always giving back. of her time, of her resources, of her finances… her children give back. make things. sell wares to raise money. i am encouraged and humbled by this family and their desire to love on others — to love on them here, to love on them afar.

we have 4 days to make a difference… and it’s a challenge.

can you give $100? can you ask 5 friends to give $100?! let’s help a Safe House in Cambodia and a Sewing Project in India to rehabilitate mothers & children. READ MORE & DONATE HERE!

you are about to make an incredible difference.

spunk. delight.

pure beauty.

i just wanted to share a few things that i have learned in being a momma to this almost-4-year-old girl that has captured my heart, my attention, my time and my energy. that deserves those and so much more.

#1: set the example.

okay mama’s, this first one is the toughest… i promise, the rest are MUCH easier compared to this. but, let’s dive in right here.

think for a second… when someone tells you how pretty your eyes are. how lovely your outfit is. how great your hair is. how beautiful you are.

our first reactions can be: shy, avoidance, a mumble. maybe TOTAL disagreement with the the person complimenting you.

what if we all proudly help up our head a little taller and said, “Thank you!” and offered true thanksgiving and acknowledgment.

what if our daughters saw that and took notice. oh yes, whether we think they take notice or not, they do. we are their role models. they watch us. they tuck in those interactions. then they model our behavior.

#2: TELL HER. just tell her, “you’re so beautiful.” 

i love saying to sweet Abigail, “you are SOO beautiful. who made you beautiful?” and she boasts proudly, “GOD DID!” i want her to know that truth. that God designed her. there are no mistakes. He knows her. He knows her outer and inner beauty. He holds that. He owns that. giving Him all the praise for the beauty that she is.

saying it too much DOES NOT reduce it’s meaning. she just gets to hear you say it more. tell her she’s good enough. tell her she’s worth it. tell her how beautiful she is. tell her how lovely her smile is.

focus on the details. her beautiful brown eyes. her darling smile. the little beauty mark. her long fingers and ticklish toes.

#3: teach her to say “Thank you” when she’s given a compliment

how empowering to give our daughters the confidence to respond to a compliment with affirmation. to not negate or avoid a compliment but to welcome it and accept it.

#4: spend quality time with her.

we sit together. often. sometimes just painting our fingers & toes. water coloring at the picnic table. talking before nap time. in the car. i love engaging her — she has so much to share, so much she sees, so full of energy and life.

we will never regain time.

i hope she will reminisce someday about the long talks we had. the hours of creating together. the moments we share making dinner side-by-side. smelling fruit and the local market while chatting with other shoppers.

we inevitably feel loved and important to those that spend time with us. i want her to know that i spend time with her because i love her. she’s important. she’s valuable. she’s beautiful to me.

#5: “you are beautiful with or without the extras”

my sweet girl has become a girly-girl overnight. adorning rings, large chunky necklaces from my collection. handbags. headbands. glitter tie knots. oh yes, and my blush brush. as she gently brushes the excess bronzer high on her cheek bones.

with or without her big sparkly dresses. with or without her hair being coiffed. with or without her chunky accessories; she is beautiful. SHE is. not the things that she hangs from her neck or wrists. but that sweet girl underneath the dress-up.

we remove the dress up clothes. wipe off the make-up. put away our dress up things. then relish in the natural beauty that is still there.

we have a gorgeous house given that it’s a rental — almost 2,000 square feet, ranch style, large open-air concept with a large living room, eat-in kitchen, den/playroom/office/sitting area + 3 bedrooms, large wall closets, 2 full bathrooms, double car garage, on a large corner lot with plenty of space out back for playtime all year round! several upgraded amenities too like tiled entry, baths and kitchen – granite counter-tops throughout, skylights, shed + plenty of built in shelving in the garage to store all of our bins full of life.

the issue with our house? lighting. there is ZERO overhead lighting in the living room; not that it matters much since i don’t like overhead lighting. so, the real issue is that i don’t have enough floor lamps to compensate for the darker corners in the house.

enter Pinterest. i started a lighting board and wanted to show you some ideas for the living room + the reading nook in the den.

#1: fancy schmancy chromed-out floor lamp by Zinc Door:

#2: Napa Style Reclaimed Lighting — YEOW!!! i am in LOVE LOVE LOVE!

#3: Arc Floor Lamp by Lamps Plus — yes, I definitely have a thing for arced lamps….

#4: a Grasshopper Lamp as featured HERE. so so sweet & darling, right?

#5: or perhaps we go a bit funky…

via

… and then we can always do a little DIY with the lampshade, right??!! here’s my inspiration:

now, time to measure, decide on whether to buy & DIY or just a DIY, budget, placement, lighting, etc.

this is going to be FUN!

i don’t say “yes” when it causes conflict.

i don’t say “yes” when i assume the result will not be happy-happy-joy-joy.

i don’t say “yes” when something requires my attention.

i don’t say “yes” when it means we’ll be late.

i don’t say “yes” when it’s not what i want.

       but i am learning to say “YES!”

i do not know the long-term ramifications of my parenting. the impact my decisions will have on the two sweetest kids i know. jack & abigail. the two littles that melt my heart with their glowing smiles & curious eyes. my purpose. that have taught me more about myself and my abilities. that have encouraged me to grow to their needs. that love me in spite of my mistakes.

what i do know…  is that saying “yes” more will impact them:

it builds confidence, encourages creative energy, provides them with decision-making authority, makes them smile wide, brings joy.

and when my children smile wide and have joy; it impacts me.

i say “YES!” to jack owning a camera and taking photos as much as he can. emptying out the memory card and watching him carefully fill it back up.

i say “YES!” to more books at bedtime.

i say “YES!” to singing 3 more songs when she asks.

i say “YES!” to more time playing with new friends at chick-fil-a.

i say “YES!” to riding bikes in the cul-de-sac.

i say “YES!” to staying at the beach longer.

i say “YES!” to sleepovers in jack’s room.

i say “YES!” to getting dirty. making messes full of glitter & glue. to digging in dirt piles in the backyard.

i say “YES!” to tea parties requiring headbands, dresses and lots of necklaces.

i say “YES!” to an afternoon of watercolors.

i say “YES!” to walking… instead of riding in the cart.

saying “yes” more has resulted in “no” really meaning… “no”. with sweet “okay Mama” or “yes, Mommy.” or “thank you Mommy. see, i said “thank you” when you said no!”

the time-out chair has dwindled to occasional use. i no longer say “no” more than once. i no longer say “no” without a reason. because at 5 1/2 and 3 1/2 they deserve to know why before they question it. they are smart. they are intuitive. they are more precious than any earthly possession. more highly valued than anything i own or could own.

saying “YES!” caused this photo to be possible. while cleaning the kitchen floor i looked over and witnessed this (almost unsafe) set-up! for more than 30 minutes they sat there discussing who was the pirate, who was Peter Pan, who was Captain Hook (i was the crocodile). the broom was their oar. i literally shed tears over this. to see these children with their amazing creative make-believe… how can you say “no”?!

i am stretchy from bearing the weight & the size of two healthy children.

tall can be wonderful but it comes with a number that can really suck. the number on the scale scares shorter people; gosh, sometimes it even scares me!

about 3 months ago i voluntarily was measured for “adipose” weight. aka: fat. non-muscular tissue. you want the truth? 27%. of course, there’s a 5% variable in there — so it could be between 22% – 32%. ooh fun. 27% means that just over 1/4 of my body is not muscle, is not bones, is not organs.  it’s fat stuck to me. fatty fat fat. the poor man measuring me at the gym… i think i saw him gulp when he had to deliver the news; and then the delayed reply that it could be lower.

that was a hard day.

zoom back 3 years with me…

i was battling weight. really, really battling. just 3 months after delivering abigail and only 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight i headed to my doctor’s office complaining of afternoon tiredness even though i was eating healthy, nursing, running, my pathetic attempts at zumba and more… not to see the scale budge in the least.

(forgive me but i must say… for YEARS i could make a few minor changes and instantly lose weight. i could be thin. really thin. not losing weight at all was a severe battle for me; yes, i’m type A + controlling)

i was diagnosed with autoimmune. hashimotos. where my white blood cells attack my thyroid gland. sure go ahead, read all about me here! then come back & finish up my post about being thin.

this disease trips up my thyroid. it slows hair growth. nail growth. life. it slows the metabolism making it nearly impossible to lose weight. oh joy.

so i did EVERYTHING they told me. if my doctor or my endocrinologist or my trainer told me to do something – i did it. i followed. i listened. i measured. i wrote everything down. i logged my gym work outs. i logged my measurements and my weight. i kept a list on the fridge of my daily intake/calorie intake.

more than 8 hours each week  in the gym on the spin bike or running at ridiculous speeds or weight lifting. killing myself to be thin.

calories in. calories out. right? wrong. not for someone like me.

for the first 2 years i maintained the SAME weight i complained about in the doctor’s office that winter day.

i was annoyed. angry. pissed. overwhelmed. daily consumed by weight. an unhealthy addiction to the gym. my calories. my thinking. i felt like a failure.

and yet i was strong. i had more muscle on me than ever before. defined chest muscles. strong biceps & triceps. thighs made of steel. lean. healthy.

but i felt fat. i wanted to be THINNER. “God, MAKE ME THINNER. look at all i’ve done. i DESERVE to be thinner.”

… oh, sweet deserving is a bad taste in the mouth. isn’t it? ick. spit that garbage out.

is there a lesson?

do you ever go through a struggle. difficult circumstances. a hardship.  a sucky friendship. and wonder, “God, what the heck are you thinking?” do you question Him like i do? there are days that i’ll walk around the house muttering to God out of sheer irritation that i have to experience this. that i have to deal with this. and i cry out, “Oh Lord, what are you teaching me? how will you use this for your good?”

i have spent far too many days angry with my weight. with the scale. with my waist measurement. horrified. promising myself and God that if i gain another pound i will likely just go make a box of brownies and EAT THE ENTIRE PAN.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1: 3 & 4 NIV

that maybe this difficult time will be used for good? He is offering me comfort through this so i can offer comfort to others feeling the same way? for His good?

how does that happen when in 3 years of battling hard i added 18 pounds to this frame? 18 pounds. 14 in this past year of hardship. moving thousands of miles from home. trying to establish new routines. finding new friendships. new schools. a marriage falling a part. children needing more attention. more of me giving away and leaving less of me.

can i get an amen? amen. & amen. & amen.

did i have to really gain 18 pounds to learn that? seriously? well, apparently i did.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4: 16 NIV

oh the sweet grace that God covers us in. that He welcomes us as we are. that He looks at our hearts and our minds. that we trust, obey & respect His commands.

He is not checking our scales. He is not going to welcome us at the pearly gates and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant… please come back when you’ve lost the pudge!”

friends… love that body of yours. the curves. the wrinkles. the gray hairs. the changes that our bodies experience as we age. God made us exactly this way. how amazing to know that right where you are is enough. you are enough.

& finally…

i gave up. i gave it over. i quit. i threw in the towel. i shared my grievances with my doctor and she gave me some medicine to help battle the low metabolism. i started eating a few carbs each week. i didn’t force gym time if it wasn’t going to fit into our schedule that day. i decided enough is enough.

and over the past 2.5 months the weight has slowly receded. i am happier 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight than i was 3 years ago. if i never lose another pound; i can manage.

now i can look in the mirror and say to myself, “how was i unhappy with this? why was i wanting to be thinner?” because ladies… today i have value and worth and confidence in this body. in this shape. in this size. with these stretch marks; reminders of those sweet babies dreaming of sugar plums in their beds.

it was worth it. these past 3 years. every single second was worth this lesson.

praising God today for His goodness. for my hope. for the peace in the scale… just a # telling me the pull of my gravity.

… but that # can NEVER tell me anything more than that.

so, here’s me. at my heaviest. with my sweeties. at the beach that we love.

embracing these fleeting moments.

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

seriously? yes. this dress. i need this dress. i am desperate for this dress — especially after seeing my sweet friend Tricia wearing a  very similar dress worn 7 ways! so, anyone? anyone? via

this image had me at the art store picking up some new watercolors, brushes & paper…  because the kids stuff just wasn’t cutting it anymore. i am joyfully inspired by the colors, fonts, brush strokes and layout.  via

she looks so happy! how could you not while wearing this amazing coral & turquoise loveliness?! i am suddenly craving summer — or a warm beachy day. i think i need a photo like this. don’t you think so? via

some of you may already know, but i am desperately looking for inspiration for my workspace. i wrote about how important your workspace is and even shared some other space ideas HERE reminds me of my childen’s art wall, but for me! — but i adore this wall full of creative lovliness via

YES! i am definitely making these with my leftover stamp supplies. i am a letter writer and these will be going on some future packages.

just before moving to our current home that has a built in fireplace — i had finally convinced my husband to build one. after spending hours pouring over the design to use the least amount of wood possible while using my brother’s stacking method to design the hearth — he carefully took notes & photos & then designed an incredible download for a beginning builder to build their own!! (& for only $12 you can buy a copy of the DIY Mantel Plans!!)

so, here’s my “Spring Pear Mantel” — and i promise, even though it’s been up since October, i WILL change it out next month to welcome Easter and the spring. but for now, i am still thoroughly enjoying this design.

this mantel sits in our eat-in dining room… it’s a focal point in our home and typically holds my DSLR so it’s within reach when i need it. the Pear print is from JDC — it has inspired me to collect pears!

enjoy my little collection of Spring Inspiration — plus this amazing “How to”!!amazing decor instructions from honey & fitz – original drawing from Steven & Chris

spring mantel by chateau chic

spring mantel – featured on inspired design

bunny banner from Uncommon Designs

Spring Mantel from Sweet Something Design

Beatrix Inspired Mantel from Nibs

a Spring Mantel shelf by Decorchick

outdoor mantel

a large Mossy letter – Spring Mantel from A Creative Beginning

& my favorite one EVER {with a sweet little wreath tutorial}

a DIY Spring Wreath & Mantel from The Sweet Survival

have a favorite? i can’t decide — i love the flowers + the bunny bunting + the old window + everything else that’s lovely. but now i’m ready — say goodbye to my little pear collection…. i’ll be back soon with a new mantel. in the meantime, if you’re sad like i was for not having a mantel — build one!! it is TRULY miraculous how it looks like a built in and is so well built you can move it wherever you go. DOWNLOAD here!

i love working at home. i savor our afternoon naptime – i can sit in cozy clothes and work merrily in the sun and uber-quiet house. i love that i can work on my schedule… and not normal business hours. i can turn my phone off for the entire day and head to the zoo. as long as i get my work done, within the parameters of client agreements… i can relax a little bit!

when Natalia from Ma Nouvelle Mode invited me along for this writing prompt on being a work-at-home-mom,  i couldn’t resist an opportunity to share.

#1: CORKBOARD

i design, therefore i need pretty things full of color, perspective, joy. large photographs that inspire. color swatches. magazine tear-outs. lovely words to encourage. above my desk hangs an over-sized cork-board full of stuff. which i’m not going to show you — because then you would know my secrets!! no matter what you do — find pretty things & quotes & photographs & lovely tokens of love to inspire you.

1. Lisa Nelson is an INCREDIBLE designer. find her print here. /// 2. Happy Monkey photography that takes you on her travels. Photo here.  /// 3. Boden flyers. These graphics make me want to be better at design.  /// 4. Color swatches.  /// 5. Inspirational quotes. Linked here.

#2: WATER CUP + JUSTIN’s ALMOND BAR

i keep hydrated all day long with a big cup of ice water complete with a lid & straw. and after attending the Entrepreneur GrowthCon last month i was introduced to these amazing bars of goodness. keep a few on hand because there’s no vending machines at home — so why not eat a candy bar much healthier!

#3: GADGETS & GIZMOS

1. wireless mouse = less cords to move as you move your laptop from the couch to the chair to the table and back to the desk.  /// 2. wireless printer – print from anywhere. and no, i’ve not splurged on this yet… but someday when our amazing laserjet printer dies, this will be in my shopping cart.  /// 3. headphones with a mic — to cancel out the noise around and for handsfree phone calls. these are amazing /// 4. quirky cord holder — yep, for everything else that is not wireless, get this. only $10 at Target and wicked amazing.

#4: LOVELY WORKSPACES

i collect ideas for new brands/logos. notebooks full of designs. inspirational online spaces.  i think i need to start a new pin board. one to inspire my workspace. with a stark cold ikea desk that collects daily dust + kids fingerprints i am happier sitting at our kitchen table in our metal tub chairs than at my actual workspace. here’s a few that inspire me…

Martha Stewart always has lovely ideas, doesn’t she?  i love this long, organized, lovely workspace.

white & more white & plenty of inspiration board space. i am in love. okay, ikea desk is getting painted. found here.

yes & yes. i can totally see having my dad build this desk out of reclaimed barn boards. inspiration right on the desk top.

& for that day i have an entire room to myself. i will leave crumpets on the table… or just a bowl full of Justin’s Almond Bars! thanks HGTV for the inspiration.

& one for the kids found at here.

visit some other work-at-home-mom’s as they share today:

Natalia // Tips on Work/Life Balance                                    Hillary // Tips for keeping it real: In Life and Blog

Alison// Tips for making & keeping a daily schedule          Alissa // Tips on organizing a business day

tears of overwhelming joy. tears of pain {no one told me about the days AFTER pregnancy}. tears for thankfulness. tears when friends & family visited. tears for the 102 degree high heat in Virginia in August.

a few days later we took Jack home. Jack James. perfect in every way.

i was 25. a baby having a baby. i was in the middle of an amazing career streak. successfully working my way into an amazing job, and after 6 years i was working comfortably at home about 25 hours/week making a way-too-reasonable paycheck. bragging rights? i bought a BMW with 3 months of bonuses. her name is Lily and i’ve not let her go yet!!

within 4 weeks, one of my clients needed me. with Jack on a splendid eating/playing/sleeping schedule i went back to work. i sat at my desk, headset on during his 6 hours (2 hours at a time – at the same time each day) of naps each day. i scheduled calls, managed my emails and worked alongside his sleeping. as his schedule adjusted, so did mine. i continued to work rather successfully. runs & playdates in the AM, laundry, dishes & household work in the afternoon, lots of play time and balanced work time.

then it happened. he starting sleeping less during the day. the demands of my clients increased. my mom encouraged a break. we met in East Hampton and stayed at the beach house for a weekend. clients called constantly and i answered. i fielded their questions, their needs — all while they knew i was on a short vacation.

i was already finding it hard to balance Jack and work. i often found myself putting him down so i could take a call that was too early or too late. we were thinking about hiring a nanny to come over for a few hours a day; it would not have been a strain. we had lots of private daycare options + a friend with a toddler that offered to take him during the day.

during a phone call on that short beach weekend trip – my mom looked at me and said, “who is so important?” the look on her face spoke volumes. i hung up and cried. i was trying desperately to hold onto both. to Jack and work. work = money. work = satisfaction. work = value. work = happiness. i was GOOD at my job. i had worked so HARD. i went to school to DO something.

i quit that day.

i spent the next several months being an eager-excited-over-the-top stay at home momma. we hung out all over town. daily runs on the trails. story time. breakfasts at the local cafe. homemade dinners that could take all afternoon to make. a very clean house. organized closets.  weed-free gardens.

the time came to sell our house in Virginia and move to NY for a few years while craig was transferred to a recruiting office. once the house sold, we paid off the balance of my student loans so we could better live on craig’s income.

pivotal moment.

i was offered some writing jobs. and then more writing jobs. i could write well for search engines; something i had learned during my several years of recruiting. something about follow “these rules” and get “these results” that worked well for me! then clients asked if i could help them with their website issues. i learned HTML and dreamweaver. i learned design programs and starting entertaining myself and my clients with new graphic features. then my clients wanted full websites. 12-page websites with forms and links and content and images and oh my!

my hiatus of being a SAHM was nearly over.

it felt so good. liberating. the rewards of verbal satisfaction from my clients. putting my degree to work.

i launched a website for my new business. simple graphics + html-driven small business websites. now, almost 4 years later my business has grown by leaps. i added a developer last year that has helped to transform this business from average to amazing. i work late nights. long hours. i’ve kept up with the latest & greatest. i maintain several blogs + social media + connections.

we do not struggle maintaining a full schedule. i am not overwhelmed with seeking out new clients. not having enough time is the problem.

i find great value in reading customer reviews. from random starbucks gift cards and packages arriving at the house with thanksgiving for a recent website launch.

some weeks… every day is filled with a nice little index card chocked full of tasks to greet me in the morning. will i ever catch up? will i ever go to bed peacefully not worrying about the next day?

Matthew 6:34: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

i know this verse all too well. my dad reminds me “don’t take life so seriously. it’s just a temporary situation.” and yet i still focus daily on exceeding client expectations — saying yes — doing more — offering more. i find my work so rewarding and interesting and exciting. it keeps me thinking. it inspires my design. it connects me with people. grown ups to have grown up conversations with.

i sometimes get caught in the trap. the lie. the comparison game. the needing to be more.

last week i had a “come to Jesus” meeting.

do you ever have those? they hit you square in the face. a gut punch. a simple concept with massive destruction. these chats come in those quiet moments of seeking. when life seems overwhelming. utter confusion.

matthew 11: 28-30: ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

when i’ve lost my grip on the perfect balancing act. when i have no choice but to fall back into God’s hand and rest easily while He takes control. i am not sure why i take so long to fall back. to be less burdened. to be less concerned. because in this place i am weightless. for only He can carry us. <<<  read this incredible post by my sweet friend Kristin.

i felt the gentle nudge. the Spirit whisper.

my purpose. my only purpose    >>>>      care for Jack & Abigail.

WHAT?? that’s it?

just be a mom?

not a professional… not a girl with loads of friends… not a social media maven… not an amazing multi-tasker… not a yes-to-everyone-that-needs me…

& then it happened. the peace. the overwhelming peace as i cried out to God.

i am enough.

i am a mom.

i have been gifted with 2 lives.

i am to cherish each fleeting moment.

& repeat

i do not have to worry. not about clothing or food or housing or finances.

matthew 6:26: Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

God’s got my back. as long as i obey His commands. obey my purpose: be a mom to these 2.

i sit here stunned at 11:55p. while my babes sleep. wide awake just long enough to finish this post. after a long night and a full day of caring for my sick little i can reflect back — i focused more. i offered more love. more time. more attention. more of me.

that’s all they want. to sit on my lap. to talk to me. to share with me.

i will try desperately to not worry about tomorrow… for tomorrow will worry about itself.